What do you do when you get whupped?

A 14 point system for success and failure

Photo by Gregorio Dorta Martin

It’s exactly a month from the beginning of the war with Hamas.

As I write this essay, I hear booms from rockets falling in the distance, Northwest of Modiin, in Tel Aviv, Bat Yam. The sound carries far at night.

One of the hallmarks of creators on social media is the belief that anything is possible.

All you have to do is work hard, learn how the algorithm works and start raking in money.

And then @AlexHormozi comes by and posts on Twitter and wonders if looks matter:

I wonder how many good looking successful people would be upset to find out the only reason they’re successful is their good looks and none of the other reasons they make up and tell people on social media. I personally, wouldn’t be upset 

Looks do seem to have something to do with success on Instagram, TikTok and Twitter.  

But we’re getting distracted here.

Let’s go back to the topic of the essay: How do we succeed and fail?

Goals are a surprisingly ineffective way of achieving objectives.

Most of us have goals of one sort or another. 

Lots of people have a goal to be fit.  They sign up for a gym. They last a month and then fade away.

Startups have a goal to sell their product.  They know that the best way to do that is to cold-call 1000 people and ask them to buy their great product.  

But they don’t.  

I suppose that if cold-calling was easy, everyone would be doing it.  But they don’t.  Maybe it’s a fear of failure or just general laziness. I don’t know.  Then they tell their investors that there’s a problem of product-market-fit.

How do we get around laziness and fear?

Have systems.

The strength and effectiveness of our systems play a crucial role in achieving our goals at home, at work and in our community.

In this week’s essay, I’ll talk about a system of 14 tactics to help succeed and retreat when you realize that you are beaten.

I’ll basically distill this down into a checklist which you can use for yourself or with a team at work. Families and couples count as teams.

Let’s use an Olympic triathlon (1.5 km swim, 40km bike ride, 10km run) as a metaphor for 3 goals and a finish.

Before you start buying cool gear

1. Set a realistic goal:  Make SMART ( Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound) goals.  Gauge the effort you need to achieve the goal and guess what could be the stumbling blocks.  Let’s say your goal is to run the 10K in 50’ when your personal best is 15’ around the block.  That’s specific enough.  Measurable means finishing. Achievable means less than 7’/km.  Relevant - do you really want to?  Time-bound - start training 9-12 months before the event,  if this is your first event.

2. It’s not you, it’s me: Think about external factors that can impact your training, such as a war, or unexpected weather conditions, or an injury.  Don’t forget luck.

3. Budget what you need:  Figure out how much it will cost in terms of time and money.  Pay someone to keep you on track; an accountability partner.  If your wife is not into training for a triathlon then pay someone to coach you. 

4. Develop your problem and change management skills:  Training for your triathlon can be impacted by an injury, unexpected bouts of bad weather, or a war with Hamas or the Russians if you live in the Ukraine.  I can’t tell you what to do except to treat every issue like a problem with a solution.  Example:  You have an ankle injury.  Good - now you get to work more in the pool. Treat every problem as an opportunity.
   

5. Risk Management: Anticipate potential problems and devise contingency plans. ITU regulations permit 2 or 3 people to do the triathlon together.  That’s a contingency plan if a war puts a kink in your running schedule or you get injured and can’t swim.

6. Mentorship and Support Networks: A lot of people do triathlons. By now you have a coach, she’ll probably be working with you in a group.

7. Persistence and Resilience Training: Foster a mindset that values persistence and the ability to bounce back from setbacks.  Coaches always say this kind of thing.  I don’t know exactly what this means - except being stubborn and getting back on  after crashing on your bike.  Ride home. Take a shower and wash out the injury with soap. Get back on tomorrow.

8. Celebrate Small Wins in public: Tell your friends and family you are training for a triathlon.   This way you won’t be able to chicken out.  Work in public - share your progress on social media.  People will love and support you.

How to deal with failure

Before we move on to my 6 tactics for failure handling, let’s understand that there are tactical failures and strategic failures.   Tactical - setback in your training schedule. Strategic - you may not be able to finish the event.

9. Accept Failure: Understand that failure is a natural part of a training and learning process and growth. Accepting that not every effort will result in success is crucial. If you got injured - take the time to recover and get back on your feet.  Accept the injury and listen to your physiotherapist. She’s your BFF.
   

10. Debrief and Analyze Failures and successes: After every failed or a successful training session, or event, conduct a thorough analysis to understand what happened, why it happened, and how it can be avoided or mitigated in the future.  
    
    Let’s say your goal for this week was 5’/km running but you tripped in a pothole, and sprained your ankle and didn’t finish your planned 10k.    Debrief the issue with 3 parameters:  what you did right, what to improve, what not to do.   It could be as simple as not lacing up your shoes tight enough or paying better attention to the road.  Maybe you were tired and were not alert enough.   Next time, you are tired - walk.
    

11. Adaptability:  Pivot if you’re not making progress or if an injury stops you.  You can’t run because of an achilles injury?  Good - you get to spend more time swimming and riding. Find a partner to run.  Good - the 2 of you get to do a triathlon.
    

12. Emotional Resilience: Develop emotional resilience to cope with the disappointment of failure. This includes meditation and Qigong or just talking to your coach.   Usually a good night's sleep is all you need.
    

13. Iterative Process: Treat the journey to the  triathlon event as a series of steps in your training program - physically and mentally.   On a 5-6 hour/week training schedule, your coach will have you moving from step to step, from 0K to 1K to 2K to 3K all the way to a 10K run.
    

14. Foster a Growth Mindset: Cultivate a growth mindset that values effort and learning over mere success.   I kind of like and hate this at the same time.   I like this because I like learning.   I hate it because a lot of people prefer learning things to actually executing things.    As far as a triathlon goes - if it’s your first - then the goal is to finish, not to set records.
    
    A growth mindset is exactly what you need during your training.    But when you get to the event - you want to finish.   If you don’t finish, then debrief and be happy. You get to rest, recover, and come back for another shot.

Summary

A triathlon is a metaphor for any tech, science, educational, music, arts, or community project.

I’m not a professional coach. I lead small tech development teams to be their best.

In the past 10 years of tech development and training, I’ve learned that systems beat goals.

The 14 tasks are a system that gives you a path to success and a retreat after failure.

You train, debrief and execute.

And keep that growth mindset.

You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. 

James Clear